Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Marriage

Marriage
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by kenjipunzalan

Question by forever: getting a marriage ultatium now?
My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. We are complete opposites…which has brought both enrichment and frustration to each others’ lives. We have different religions, cultural backgrounds, personality types, and professions. The few things we share are an undeniable chemistry for one another and a desire to make this world a better place. At least once a year we’ve questioned and doubted our compatibility. This has led to arguments, resentment, but often times deeper understanding (albeit with scars).
We’ve both come to the realization that we need to love each other for who we are, and not expect one another to change (easier said than done). But we have found some issues we can actively work on. For her, she’s trying to curb her anger, and to think more before she explodes all over me. In addition, she’s beginning to understand that I need space and alone-time on a regular basis–for my work, not because I don’t care about her. As for me, I’m trying to be more inclusive, making efforts to have her meet and hang with all of my family and friends, because I have a tendency to compartmentalize my relationships.

But the clock is ticking, according to her. She wants to marry. And after four years, she’s says I should be ready for marriage. But our timelines are off. I don’t feel ready. I’m open to moving-in together first, but she says her parents wouldn’t allow that. I love her, but I have doubts still. I don’t know if our love is long-lasting, healthy, or if our differences will defeat and pull us apart. I can envision a future together, but I see two paths: one is full of love and shared experience, and the other is full of heart-ache, regret, and fighting. I want us to have fulfilling lives, but I’m afraid we’ll compromise too much for each other. I feel confused and scared, and that’s not the way I want to feel about my loved one. I don’t want to be pressured into marriage. When I express this, she wonders what’s wrong with her or why she isn’t good enough
Do I have a fear of commitment? Is our relationship healthy? Why is love such hard work? How do you know if your love is for life? I want to feel uplifted by the thought of spending the rest of my life with her, instead I feel closed in and worried.

Any advice is most appreciated.

Best answer:

Answer by Me
If one of you is not ready, the couple is not ready.

There is no time table.

There are, however, far too many people getting divorced because they got married when they weren’t ready.

What do you think? Answer below!

Attending Marriage Counseling Sessions Can Save Your Marriage

Normally when you just got married, everything seemed beautiful. You thought that you have found a perfect person whom you can live with forever. You felt that you were really lucky to find somebody like your spouse. Your love was burning bright and leaving your spouse was something that never crossed your mind.

After you married for some time, things started to change. You learned that marriage is not always beautiful. Some arguments have arisen and some rough patches have appeared on your marriage road. However, you still thought and the condition was ok. Some small arguments would not affect your marriage because you still loved your spouse.

Fast forward to the present time, you realize that those arguments do not disappear. In fact the frequency has increased steadily. You argue with your spouse because of every small unimportant thing. It seems that the two of you cannot stand each other anymore and the word divorce has been uttered in some heated discussions. This situation is unfortunately not uncommon. Nowadays divorce rate has kept increasing and it has reached an all time high. In this situation, you should never give up on your marriage easily. Try to attend marriage counseling sessions. They can help you to save your marriage and you may find your first love again that has encouraged you to get married.

Commitment is important

Marriage counseling can play an important role to save your marriage. However, it needs a commitment from both husband and wife. If you are the only one who attends the sessions, it can make the situation worse. You try to talk your spouse about what you have learnt and he or she will act defensively. As a result, another serious fight is looming and will stretch your marriage into its limit. You will get opposite result from the marriage counseling. Therefore, if you want marriage counseling sessions to bring positive results, both couples have to be committed and attend the sessions together.

Is marriage counseling necessary?

Some people do not understand how marriage counseling works. They do not know how it can improve their marriage situation and rekindle their first love again. Perhaps you also feel the same and you think that a divorce is the only feasible option for you. In some cases, this is true because not every marriage works.

However, you should not give up your marriage without a fight and attending marriage counseling sessions is one thing that you can do to save your marriage. A counselor will help you along the way to resolve your differences. The counselor will observe the matter from an unbiased perspective so he or she can find the real problems that have threatened your marriage. You will work together to tackle those problems and heal the wounds that they have caused. It takes time, but if you and your spouse stay committed, your marriage can definitely be saved.

by wgbhmorningstories

Question by Joseph K: How best 2 leave a marriage where your wife has not done wrong save she is not living up to your social status
She is nice. Only problem is she is not eduacted and isnt considering that. She does not dress well and elegantly even when she has all the clothes she needs and buying more wont ever be a problem. She does not know how to look cool and sweet and her English isnt so good. How best to leave without sounding wicked and unconscientious

Best answer:

Answer by Jeff V
Tell her you’re having an affair.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

bit.ly When you first got married you were probably dreaming of a life of wedded bliss and unending days of marital happiness. While the reality is never perfect you can have an awesome marriage either again or for the first time. Your marriage does not have to be filled with fights and arguments that never seem to bring resolution and only seem to make the relationship worse. If you are in a marriage right now that is not what you wanted it to be there are things that you can do to save your marriage even if you are the only partner that wants to make it work. You can save your marriage starting today but Stopping do a few simple things that you might be doing right now to harm your marriage. You can learn a few simple things that will help you. First you can learn learn to assess exactly where you marriage is at in the 8 stages of your crisis and the steps that you need to take to save your marriage. How to move beyond your emotions and take action that will help you. Why true initimacy is a lot closer than you think and how you can get back to that place. You will find out ways that you can change the direction and momentum of your relationship, sometimes instantly. You will quickly see how to get the spark back in your relationship and paradigm shifts that will help to transform your relationship. If you are looking for a path that will has almost a 90% success rate in saving marriages and that will help you not just to save your marriage but to have the marriage of …
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by Kristin Brenemen

Things to Do While Dating for Marriage

Dating for marriage is very vital. This is a critical time in your life that you have to take very seriously. Deciding the person to marry will cost you the rest of your life, if you make the wrong decision, you might end up in failure. Nobody can tell for sure an ideal person to date for marriage, this is the reason why a lot of time has to be spent dating for marriage. It is vital for you to have the qualities you are looking for in your partner on your finger tips. Many people wait to discover what they want in a partner when they meet them. Dating for marriage calls for prior preparation which will go a long way. Men are especially known to make rush decisions and, this is often reflected with their choice of mate. They are easily smitten by the female charm and, end up being disappointed when they start to learn the true character of a person. If possible, put in writing some of the things that you wish your bride or groom to have. This is similar to the things you write, when you are going through a matchmaker. Online matchmakers will have profiles which reflect your wish in a partner.

Therefore, do not speculate on your date, make sure they radiate some of the attributes you would want to see. Some people expect their partners to be perfect. You are in for a rude shock. Usually, any premarital advisor will tell you that you are looking for a person who will have at least 65% of the qualities you are looking for. You are not perfect either and, this is perfectly alright. The following are some of the major attributes that would attract you to a person while dating for marriage. First, they must value the family unit. It is vital to establish this. This will determine whether they want to get married or not in the first place. You will know this by reading into their speech and character. They must be loving people. This is one way to tell people who were wired for marriage. Love is recognized by optimism, kindness and joy in the things of life and family. People who have been hurt in relationships taint their attitude about marriage and they are not positive or open to the idea.

A good date for marriage should be ready to compromise. They must recognize that it will not all be smooth sailing and, be mature about it. This is a realistic approach to marriage. You may have your own personal preferences but, the above virtues will ensure that you have the fundamentals that are necessary to build a marriage. When you finally have your prospective spouse, there are things you need to do to ensure you go through the process smoothly. First, ensure that you know all the legal implications which are stated in your state or country. You should be ready to go through premarital counseling which will advise you on things you can expect in marriage. The most important thing that spouse need to realize is that this is a lifetime commitment. If you are not ready, the best thing you can do is to take time.

Question by andrea j: I have to write a 4 hour seminar for communication in a marriage…?
I have to plan out four 50 minute sessions on what I would teach married couples about communicating. Any ideas on activities/games to use?

Best answer:

Answer by Pat
Here are some websites with ideas:

http://www.gamesforgroups.com/communicationgames.htm

http://www.holysmoke.org/wb/wb0054.htm

http://www.ncrlc.com/passages-webpages/Comm-Exercises.html

http://www.kevinhogan.com/communication-influence-persuasion.htm

What do you think? Answer below!

by ehoyer

Sexual Harmony in Marriage and Relationship

The importance of sex in a marriage or relationship can not be over-emphasized, it is one of the key issues that keep love aglow, the root of many quarrels, lack of affection or coldness in marriage can be attributed directly or indirectly to sex.

The issues discussed in this article are gathered from personal experiences and true live story I have gathered from my clients (I am a natural health, fitness, sex and marriage consultant).

Now let us consider some issues that can be referred to as “bone of contention” in a couples’ sexual life. Or to put it in another way, in what ways is sex wrecking havoc on marriages and relationships.

The Techniques of Successful Love Making

Create enough time for romance and love making-most married couples are guilty of this grave offence, due to tight job schedules, we hardly find time for love making, a woman came to me for consultation recently, her husband who is a banker and very rich hardly find time for her, he probably thought that money will fix everything else. Unfortunately his money fails to fix the lonely wife’s sexual desire and she started sleeping with the driver the husband employed to drive her around. So money is not the only thing that your spouse needs, she/he needs your presence, needs to be romanced and make love to. Avoid monotonous of sex position-Be creative and adventurous in bed, explore different sex styles and positions so that each sex experience will be some thing to be remembered and cherish for a long time to come. Remember that variety is the spice of live. Don use sex as a weapon-Some people have this habit of denying their partner sexual intercourse in order to punish them or make a request, this type of habit is very wrong and can create some psychological problems. Don’t cheat on your partner and if you must do it then be very discreet about it, if your partner found out it will affect and diminish the way he/she will feel sexually interested or satisfied, it will always stay in the sub-conscious mind of your partner that you are unfaithful. Learn the rudiments of successful love making-Some people still make love like the men of the Stone Age because they don’t know the technique of making love in such a way that will make their partner beg for more. You can get the necessary information about this in my soon to be released book titled “The Act of Love Making”

Related Marriage And Relationships Articles

Birmingham, AL (PRWEB) February 13, 2006

Marriage counseling coach Nancy Wasson has advice for couples about upcoming Hoodie-Hoo Day on February 20th. “It’s a perfect time to toss some emotional baggage overboard and invite new energy into your relationship.”

The little-known Hoodie-Hoo Day is celebrated annually to chase away winter and bring in spring. “This holiday is a chance to have fun,” Wasson says. “At noon, you’re supposed to go outside, wave your hands over your head, and chant ‘Hoodie-Hoo!’ It’s a way to express that you’re tired of winter and want spring to hurry up and come.”

According to Wasson, every relationship gets bogged down with extra baggage that needs discarding periodically, and Hoodie-Hoo Day provides the perfect opportunity to do some pre-spring emotional housecleaning.

“If your relationship closets are filled to overflowing with anger and bitterness, for example, there’s no room for anything else. You have to clear out the old and familiar before you have room for the new and different.”

Wasson offers seven questions that spouses can ask themselves to find out what they need to discard so that their relationship can feel less weighty:

1.    Are you the relationship historian who can recite all your partner’s past mistakes without missing a single one?

2.    Do you hold on to grudges and resentments and “keep score” in your relationship?

3.    Do you focus on your partner’s faults?

4.    Are you critical of your partner to family and friends?

5.    Do you always have to be “right”?

6.    Do you ever attempt to get even for perceived slights?

7.    Do you tell “little white lies” or “fudge” on the truth and then have to remember what you’ve said or not said?

Wasson advises spouses who answer “yes” to any of these questions to consider getting rid of these relationship-destroying behaviors that drain energy. “Instead,” she says, “make space for the good things that you want to come into your relationship such as forgiveness, honesty, tolerance, laughter, intimacy, and joy.”

Wasson’s final advice to couples concerning Hoodie-Hoo Day is to “Let your relationship be energized by your new ‘lightness of being’ and positive approach. Out with the old and in with the new. Let the day be a reminder to shed what isn’t helping your marriage and prepare the way for a more satisfying relationship.”

Marriage counseling coach Nancy Wasson, Ph.D., has been a Licensed Professional Counselor for more than twenty years. She coaches couples in unhappy marriages and provides immediate help through the privacy of telephone and email consultations. Wasson is the co-author of “Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says ‘I Don’t Love You Anymore!’” She offers a free weekly marriage advice newsletter at www.KeepYourMarriage.com.

Hoodie-Hoo Day is copyrighted by Wellcat.com.

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